So its been 301 days that I’ve been doing this Xanga thing!
The reason that’s such a significant reality is that it has been almost a year since I changed jobs and began this crazy, God journey. That also means its almost been a year since Jen left (but now is back for a short time), and that I’ve been living “officially” on my own. Its been roughly a year since my apartment was used as a meeting place, a home for the night, the place where people felt comfortable to stop by when they had no other place to go. Its been almost a year since I had a roommate to throw out ideas to at midnight, talk incessantly to while she tried to watch tv, and share bills with…lol. Its been almost a year since my whole life moved basically over to Tampa, whereas before that I had major ties to Clearwater corps, the area and spent a lot of times with friends there.
Yea, that’s a lot to take out of the fact that I started my Xanga 301 days ago, but that’s the way my brain works. Its interesting to think about those things that have changed and those things that have stayed the same since Jen went off to China. That was such a life-dating moment for me since we were both stepping out to do what God called us to do…I, baby steps to Tampa and Jen, HUGE sprints to China.
God pushed and whispered and directed us for months and then we finally took the leap….weird thing was, Jen’s took her far away and mine kinda left me right smack where I was.
A number of times Jen and I have emailed and talked about how difficult in comparison our “leaps” have been. Jen always tells me that mine was the more difficult choice because I stayed in the same place, trying to change something that has been unchanging for so long. I, of course, would always think Jen was taking the tougher steps because she was venturing into new terrain, an alien in a foreign land, the only light that possibly these people would know in their lifetime.
I’m making myself all teary-eyed for cheezy sentimental reasons that will be completely alleviated come Friday when I drive up to camp….but I know its also more than that. It always is!
It is the reality of what I have accomplished since last summer. The week before FMI last year, I was preparing everyone and everything in the office for my move, while still carting kids off to camp and getting myself ready for FMI staff. This year I am sitting at the Tampa corps with full knowledge that my life-dream, my purpose thus far, my crazy idea of a fun way of living my life is becoming reality. Absolute madness that only God could be behind! Praise God, Praise God!!!
I have been living in the big reality…the future for practically this whole last year. It is a beautiful place to see God’s movement from….but, as I keep referring to in my posts, I’m wondering if I’m missing the point of my here and now purposes. I’m wondering if I have not heard, or even ignored, God’s whispers of what I can do today that will build into and make brighter what I am anticipating for the future.
Deep stuff….too much for my brain…maybe that’s why I wrote it completely unplanned. I think that the pouring rain and thunder plus Harry Connick’s piano playing added to the inspired moment. Just so you know, I’m praying for you, Cheryl, today. I don’t know what’s up but I’ll pray for peace today.
Peace for today…
2 Comments Add yours
I’ve just now read your Mon. post on Tuesday afternoon after I wrote this morning on my xanga about being apprehended by God…you are such an incredible example of God grabbing your heart and soul to work his will in Ybor City and in ways you’ve yet to discover. the passion of your heart is so evident in your writing…may it always be so because I know it is evident in your life as well as your words.
And you say I write long entries?