Kimisloved.net // Living Loved

Okay, so here’s my entry for Monday…

this weekend was long but very fulfilling.  It basically centered around preparations for church activities yesterday…the last Corps Cadets of the season, Gospel Arts performance, etc.  I have to say myself, I think Gospel Arts did really well.  Sometimes you just get a good feeling while you’re in the midst of it and I did yesterday.  As I wrote to Cheryl on her Xanga, many people have come up and told me how we did well!  Thank you for that!  I’m excited about doing a Jesus Walk this summer here in town.  It’ll be nice to still meet with friends and make something special, especially cause it’ll be the last one Cheryl will do around here.
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Moses objected, “They won’t trust me. They won’t listen to a word I say. They’re going to say, “GOD? Appear to him? Hardly!'”

So GOD said, “What’s that in your hand?”

“A staff.”

“Throw it on the ground.” He threw it. It became a snake; Moses jumped back–fast!

GOD said to Moses, “Reach out and grab it by the tail.” He reached out and grabbed it–and he was holding his staff again. “That’s so they will trust that GOD appeared to you, the God of their fathers, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob.”

GOD then said, “Put your hand inside your shirt.” He slipped his hand under his shirt, then took it out. His hand had turned leprous, like snow.

He said, “Put your hand back under your shirt.” He did it, then took it back out–as healthy as before.

“So if they don’t trust you and aren’t convinced by the first sign, the second sign should do it. But if it doesn’t, if even after these two signs they don’t trust you and listen to your message, take some water out of the Nile and pour it out on the dry land; the Nile water that you pour out will turn to blood when it hits the ground.”

Moses raised another objection to GOD: “Master, please, I don’t talk well. I’ve never been good with words, neither before nor after you spoke to me. I stutter and stammer.”

GOD said, “And who do you think made the human mouth? And who makes some mute, some deaf, some sighted, some blind? Isn’t it I, GOD? So, get going. I’ll be right there with you–with your mouth! I’ll be right there to teach you what to say.”
Exodus 4: 1-12 MSG

So I think I proved last night at the corps graduation celebration thing that I do NOT have the gift of speaking (in front of groups)….not because I stutter or stammer, but because, when I speak about something I truly feel, I get so freakin emotional (which may include tears, choking up, bawling, and/or laughing/giggling).  I know its “So Kim”, but honestly, it is beyond frustrating when I want to get my point across.  As I was driving home last night, I remembered this story of Moses…frustrated with his obvious weakness and the knowledge that he can’t get past it.  I know SOOOOO many times, we (I) get stuck in that rut, where our weaknesses overcomes us and we just want to break down, crawl into a little ball and let it be who we are.

BUT God does NOT want that to happen and so pushes us to be better and even use our weaknesses to build His Kingdom and glorify Him!  “How the heck will you use my blubbering, giggly weak self to build Your Kingdom?” That’s my version of Moses’ question! He prepared the way for Moses and I’m in the midst of Him preparing the way He wants to use me! That is why this whole Ybor City ministry is WAY beyond me…but years from now, I’ll be able to look back and see, while I have allowed God to use every part of me, He has put my weaknesses to use in some mighty ways!  I know He will…I’m confident in that!

So, I hope whomever reads this can understand that God wants to use your weakness…the thing(or things) that you count as loss or completely unworthy of God to see or that which you hide to make yourself look good to everyone else.  Man, imagine if we stacked all those things up at the foot of the Cross and left it there for God to melt and mold into His purposes…just imagine.

Peace for today…